All About Symbian - Nokia (S60) and Sony Ericsson (UIQ) smartphones unwrapped

  #1  
Old 21-11-2002, 04:00 PM
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Want Fun? Read a JOKE :)

I thought that a Joke posti will bring more happyness and tolerance between some :agrue: members :roll:

I will not try to post everyday a joke here, But if the wave will decide to do so, at the end of the year we might have here 1000`s posts.

Dont`t know also if somebody else try this, but it will be FUN
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  #2  
Old 21-11-2002, 04:07 PM
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SalesMan

The Keen Texas Salesman

A keen Texas lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. The store was the biggest in the world and sold everything under the sun.

"Have you ever been a salesman before?" the boss asked during his interview.

"Yes, I was a salesman in Texas," the lad answered. The boss took an immediate liking to him and told him he could start the next day.

"I'll come and see how you made out after we close up," the boss said.

The day was long and hard for the young man, but finally it was 5 o'clock. The boss closed up the store and found the lad sitting, slumped and exhausted, in a chair. "How many sales did you make today?" the boss asked.

"One," said the lad.

"One?" said the boss, obviously displeased. "Most of the sales people on my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"

"Exactly $101,334.53," said the young man.

"How did you manage that?!?" asked the boss, flabbergasted.

"Well," said the lad, "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one, and huge one. I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said he was going down the coast. I said he'd probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that fancy 22- foot Chris Craft with twin engines. Then he said his Honda Civic probably wouldn't be able to handle the load, so I took him to the vehicle department and sold him a new GMC 1-ton pickup truck."

"You sold all that to guy who came in for a fish hook?" the boss asked in astonishment.

"He didn't come in to buy a fish hook," the Texas boy explained. "He came in to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said to him, 'Your weekend's shot. You might as well go fishing.' "
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9210... I miss those days.... Nokia N8 coz' I love every image of my short life....

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Old 21-11-2002, 05:48 PM
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LoL

Okay here's another one:

A Man, His Wife And The Cop

A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror
pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after coming to a
stop, a police officer approaches the car.

The man says, "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour
zone. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ticket you.

Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60.

Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80! [The man gives wife
dirty look.]

Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail
light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks!
[The man gives his wife another a dirty look.]

Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing
your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt!

The Man turns to his wife and yells, "For cryin' out loud, can't
you just shut up?!"

The officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, Does your
husband talk to you this way all the time?"

Wife says, "No officer, Only when he's drunk."

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Last edited by : ) on Thu Jan 02, 1947 11:32 pm, edited 451 times in total

  #4  
Old 22-11-2002, 08:09 AM
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New Cellular Phones

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. After a few minutes, he starts dialing numbers... like a telephone...but on the back of his hand.

He then flips his hand over, and starts talking into the palm of his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble from weirdos here.

The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular."
The bartender says "Prove it!", so the guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender.

The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a brief conversation. "That's incredible", says the bartender, "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah", said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it.

By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in, and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by, and he doesn't return.

Fearing the worst, given the violence in the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room.

The guy is spread-eagle against the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper shoved up his butt. "Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did the locals rob you? Are you hurt?" The guy casually turns around, and says: "No, I'm OK. I'm just waiting for a fax."
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  #5  
Old 22-11-2002, 03:28 PM
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SHEEPER :))

The Genius SHEPER

A man is driving down a country road when he spots a SHEPER standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"

The SHEEPER replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."
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Old 22-11-2002, 03:44 PM
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My contribution ??? Euh... here it is !!!

Imagine if major companies from all around the world started producing or sponsoring condoms. They would become fashionable and companies would probably advertise more openly. But more importantly, imagine the slogans...

Nike Condoms: Just do it
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling
Ford Condoms: The ride of your life
Microsoft Condoms: Where do you want to go today?
Optus Condoms: Yes!
KFC Condoms: Finger lickin' good
Duracell Condoms: Keep going and going and going
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop you can't stop
Sydney Olympic Condoms: Share the spirit
Hyundai Condoms: All day, every day
Tip Top Condoms: Good onya mum (available in Tasmania only)
Panasonic Condoms: Even more than you expected
VB Condoms: As a matter of fact, I've got one now
Swan Lager Condoms: They said you'd never make it...
Vegemite Condoms: Puts a rose in every cheek - (target gay market)
Levi Condoms: Do you fit the legend?
Nescafe Condoms: It brings you together
McDonald's Condoms : Things that make you go mmm..........

nfire: filakia nfire:
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Old 22-11-2002, 03:48 PM
samthepaokfan samthepaokfan is offline
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(this post is just because I do not like the number 249, my previous post numbers, and I wanted to close this Friday with... 250 posts...)

nfire: filakia nfire:
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  #8  
Old 24-11-2002, 12:59 PM
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Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall

Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty-four."

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says, "Mirror, mirror, on the door, make my penis touch the floor!"

Again, there's a bright flash... and his legs fall off!
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  #9  
Old 25-11-2002, 07:37 AM
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10X Giving Day :)

Thanksgiving Prep

He laid her on the table

So white clean and bare.

His forehead wet with beads of sweat

He rubbed her here and there.

He touched her neck and then her breast

And then drooling felt her thigh.

The slit was wet and all was set,

He gave a joyous cry.

The hole was wide...he looked inside

All was dark and murky.

He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms..........

And then he stuffed the turkey.
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Old 25-11-2002, 03:51 PM
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LoL!

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?!

A telephone company fired their president after nine months,
saying he lacked "intellectual leadership". He received a $26
million severance package. Perhaps it's not the president who's
lacking intelligence...

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to
subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.
After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that
the man was standing beside them, shouting to please come out
and give himself up...

An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist
and forced him to drive to two different automated teller
machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from
his own bank accounts...

A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day
suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last
week - for a mint! The boy allegedly told a classmate that the
mints would make him "jump higher." Also, a student in Belle,
West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a
classmate a cough drop. The school principal reiterated the
school's "zero-tolerance" policy...not to be confused with
the "zero-intelligence" policy...

A man in Taormina, Italy was hospitalized after swallowing 46
teaspoons, 2 cigarette lighters, and a pair of salad tongs.

A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas convenience store and
asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the
take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked
the counter himself for three hours until police showed up
and grabbed him.
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Last edited by : ) on Thu Jan 02, 1947 11:32 pm, edited 451 times in total

  #11  
Old 27-11-2002, 11:32 AM
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12 Things You Should Never Say When Pulled Over

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
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  #12  
Old 27-11-2002, 11:34 AM
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Shall I stop?

Since I got few feedbacks, I just wonder.. Shall I stop posting jokes?

Hm.. I guess I am just passing a Low Inner Confidence these Days :roll:

  #13  
Old 27-11-2002, 12:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSpecialBoy
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

No, keep them coming...
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Old 27-11-2002, 07:54 PM
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I don't know any joke. :cry: What should I wrote here instead? :-?

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Old 29-11-2002, 11:49 AM
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You could laugh

You don't have to post a joke, we'll garuntee there's enough to keep your guys laughing every morning when your boss comes and checks if you finished that report you're supposed to hand in a month ago.
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