Review: Toy Tanks 3D
Score:
78%
You know what the world needs? An update to Battlezone. But for the kids. With cartoon graphics, simple explosions, and no tricky driving to do. Just the guns. And with that thought in mind, it's over to FishLabs' Toy Tanks 3D.
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If there's one thing that impressed me the most about Toy Tanks 3D, it's not the cute graphical representation of war, it's not that our hero reminds me of Handy Manny going on a drug fuelled tank invasion of a beach... it's the jaunty soundtrack that sounds just like a junior version of Ron Goodwin's various war movie soundtracks.
Love it, I just need to know where to get the MP3.
So, what do we have? It's a cartoon tank game! With the obligatory quick play so you can experience the game play, before embarking on a mission based quest (which is essentially get to the end of the level and stay alive).
To do that, tilt your phone left and right (in portrait mode) to turn around, and tap the screen to fire the tank's weaponry. You can also duck down into the tank and close the hatch so you can take less damage from incoming fire, but you won't be able to return fire.
For the record, you can't just duck and hide, and trust the tank's armour to get you to the end of the level. The armour minimises the damage, it doesn't prevent all of it. you will die if you hide, so in the best R Lee Emory voice, get up there and fight!
Keep an eye out for the green health crosses - shoot those and the armour is replenished (just like a life meter, really). You also have storage crates occasionally lying around the battlefield - shoot them too, they have high explosive guided rockets, which are really useful for the bigger targets (like the armed bunkers, destroyers anchored along the shore, and Chuck Norris). It's just unfortunate that you have to use the rockets straight away, you can't switch back to the regular gun and hold the rockets for when you want to use them.
You might have noticed that in all the discussions so far, there is no talk of moving the tank, steering around the terrain, driving forward, hiding, or finding the best location to launch a strike from. There's a good reason for that... you don't drive.
All you do is act as the gunner, spinning the turret, hiding, firing and hoping the computer controlled driver does something smart (invariably he doesn't and goes kamikaze straight to the enemy). Not a great tactical relationship, but makes Toy Tanks an enjoyable "on rails" shooter. It's not immensely violent, the difficulty level is comfortable, and once you find the rhythm needed to hide as little as possible and fire as much as possible, Toy Tanks reveals itself as game of split second reactions, planning, and careful thinking about who to target (and when).
Yes, there's another game lurking in here (where you can steer the tank) but sometimes you need something a little bit less complicated than an first person shooter with a million different controls. That's what Toy Tanks delivers. And it delivers it very well.
-- Ewan Spence, August 2011.
Reviewed by Ewan Spence at