"Suppose that you were doing that in an elevator" said the Graph Man to his assistant's thirteen feet. The assistant took exception to having his feet spoken to in that manner and pulled his very special 'cherry in a sea of A4 Arch Lever (tm) folders' face. The Graph Man shook in horror and hid behind his Remegel (TM) packet, backing off toward the Ink Pot of Silver Bladders.
"Never speak to my feet like that again" said the Graph Man's assistant, "or I shall call upon the Water of Guildford to cover you and carry you to the land of Foreign Currency". The Graph Man, realising his position, defiantly lowered his Remegel (TM) shield and said "Your feet are the curse of life, the death of light and the final word in all that should be neglected. Hoompah! Kalimpah! Lallipee Manipee Manoompa!".
Over the radio, flew a seagull and out of its mouth came many streams of water which did cover the Graph Man until he was washed clean of his vitriol. From the seagull's Northern Sideport (which is based on the USB 2.0 standard) shone a great light which did project onto the wall, the Gull's dreams and into it fell the Graph Man, as one falls into a ceiling.
Standing on the beach of Pujja, he looked out at the sea of matted cat-hair and whistled the Silent Whistle of Grampiano;
"Whitty whoo! Whitty whoo!
I Whitty whoo the the carniverous milkshake drinker of Littletype
Who did eat my sister on a sunny day"
And behold, from the heaven! Yea, as from the heavens above did descend the Hingy and his many desks. Lo! The Hingy did speak unto the Graph Man thus; Thou art unto thine own desctruction and behold, unto this day thou hast cried for thine salvation. Give thanks to thine own pre-requisites and suffer the chairs to support thine arse"
"Woe! Woe is me" cried the Graph man; "for mine graphs have had no exception and the best straight lines goeth to the left and to the right! My trousers are undone! Save me oh Hingy! Bring me from this descent and exalt me up to the lamp that shines with a Winnie-The-Pooh shade!"
And so, with the bracket removed, the Graph Man promised the Goose of Gordon's Uncle and the Old Man of Gorn and all the other vegitables of the hidden garden that he would run every day, until he walked.
And he slept. And he slept. And he slept until he slept not, opening the tin of Rusty Lee's secret recipe for posh nosh.