I was trying out the clicking horse in the nitrogen college and I realised that the ears of the horse were folded such that they looked like they were about to reveal a mighty secret.
I looked at the folded horse ears and just for a moment, imagined that I could hear the cry of frightened sunglasses as they were weary of dark times. I reached into the folded ears and I felt the warm moisture of a cream slice. I removed the cream slice and took it to the occasional table that had been erected near the entrance to the kicking room.
I didn't dare eat the custard slice for the doiley had been ejected from its parliamentary position and had taken up the training of killer whales for entertaining the children of doctors and aircraft engineers. I therefore left it on the table and I walked into the kicking room.
It was dark in the kicking room so i turned on the light and, to my pleasant suprise, I found that all of my friends and relatives had gathered to celebrate my birthday. It was indeed my birthday then and I told them thay they were lucky that they had chosen that day to do the suprise party saince any other day would have not been my birthday.
I had many gifts, most of them being erasers and biros marked with the nitrogen college logo. I didn't mind that, it was nice to have been thought of. When they desired that I should make a speech, I spoke thus;
[quote="Me"]
Dear friends, family and other species,
I thank you for this honour with which I have been bestowed. Indeed, I and my wife would like to say that we are rightly chuffed at being thought of like this. Also, I would like to thank the representatives of the union for remembering this, the anniversary of my birth.
Now, unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I would nevertheless like to remember the day I first started here in this citrogen college. I was but a beginner back then and I didn't know anything about the art of making eggs. To have been taught by such wise folk as Dr. Alhern McGwerty (yes, please stand Dr. McGwerty) and Prof. Adrienne von Dieselhire (who is unfortunately not with us today), is something I feel I can consider with pride. It is these who taught me to fly a kite, yank the frog spanner and swim the Nile.
I would also like the profess great affection for our faithful janitor, Master Yoda, who has taught me the importance of maintaining a healthy boiler and clean boiler suits. Without you, I would be lost today and still living the life of an oik.
For those I have not mentioned, please forgive me for each one of you have provided me with experiences so valuable I feel that parts of your very good selves have become parts of me. Without you also, I would not be the person I am.
For all your gifts, I thank you.
Now, I remember how, during my first week here, I fell down the steps to the rugged room and how, in the darkness, Mrs. Tucker, the cook tripped over me and dropped all of her minced tie racks. Oh, how we laughed on the way to A&E and never have I forgotten that look of sheer horror! indeed, but seriously, that incident would have been enough for my expelling, especially since she (as a result of the accident) now sits on busted bosom of beauty which adorns our great broom cupboard. It was the understanding of all of you people that has ensured my safety, continued learning and great capacity.
Thank you all
[/quote]
Once I completed the speech, I froth-fried my shoes as a mark of respect and departed for my room where I did log onto the internet and examined the growth reports that had come from the Haribo Institute of Fruit Gums and Burried Licenses.