hey IRVING02, you're indeed a peeping tom, huh?! 8)
😉
Want Fun? Read a JOKE :)
There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the top of her closet that she had cautioned him never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about box, but one day, the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents.
When we were to be married,' she said, 'my grandmother told me the secret of marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily.'
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him only two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.
'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doilies, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'
'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the doilies.'
😉
:-? :P
that's what i call F(*$%##@!#^%$&%^&@!$#^^%*(&^#@%$*$^$%!@$#@$&^%(*&@!@$*&^)(^&*%*^&^(^#$#@^%*(&@#$&^%*%^#&%$&^%#*%#*#$^^(*$%yT
ouch! that sure hurts!!! 8)
😉
Here are some especially for GhostDog 😉 :
Why are ghosts bad at telling lies ? - Because you can see right through them !
What do ghosts dance to ? - Soul music !
What did the ghost teacher say to her class ? - Watch the board and I'll go through it again !
What do you call a ghost's mother and father ? - Transparents !
Why are graveyards so noisy ? - Because of all the coffin !
What happened when the ghost asked for a whiskey at his local bar ? - The bartender said "Sorry sir, we don't serve spirits here" !
What is a ghost's favourite day of the week ? - Frightday !
How do ghosts keep fit ? - By regular exorcise !
What did the polite ghost say to her son ? - Don't spook until your spooken to !
What do ghosts like to eat? - Spooogetti!
What did the skeleton say when he finished eating? - Bone appetite!
Where do ghosts swim on holiday? - In the Dead Sea!
8) 😃
😃 :P 😮
What do ghosts like to eat? - Spooogetti!
😃 😃 😃 😃 😃 😃
nice one 😃
as for the best way to die
:crazyeyes:
These may sound very familiar to some, especially in the army.
:x
We are the unfortunate
Lead by the unqualified
To do the unnecessary
For the ungrateful one
:x
Banta Singh rushed back angrily to the grocery shop from where he had purchased a packet of butter a few mins ago. "Where is my free gift?"
He shouted at the Shopkeeper. "But Sir, there is no free gift on the
Purchase of butter." The shopkeeper answered politely. "Don't fool me," replied Banta, "it is clearly written on the packet of the butter 'Cholesterol free'".
One day Santa Singh was home and he went to the kitchen, opened the
Sugar Bottle, peeped inside and closed it. His wife was seeing this. After sometime Santa again went to the Kitchen, opened the Sugar Bottle, peeped inside and closed it. His wife again saw this. Santa Singh again and again did the same thing. His wife was puzzled at why did he do something like this. So, she asked Santa, 'Why did you open the Sugar bottle, see inside and close it often? Santa Singh replied, 'I am a Sugar Patient you know..
Our doctor advised me to check up the Sugar often'.
Sardarji : Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group.
Nurse : B positive
Sardarji : please tell me soon ....
Nurse : B positive
Sardarji : Madam, I am positive, but eager to know the blood my group.
A Sardarji bought a new car. Next day he is driving his car to office.
On the way he was waiting for the Signal. Suddenly he opened the door and got down. Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked him, 'How much should I pay to turn right?'
The Policeman was astonished and asked, 'Why are you asking like this?'
Then Sardarji showed him the sign board which was in the corner of the road: 'Free Left Turn'
Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton and Saddam Hussien died and all went to
hell.
Queen Elizabeth said: I miss England, I wanna call England and see how
everybody is doing there.... so she called and talked for about 5
minutes...Then she said: well devil, how much do I owe you????
The devil goes: five million dollars...
Five million dollars!!!???? She made him a cheque and went to sit back on
her chair....
Bill Clinton was so jealous, he starts screaming, me too, me too, I wanna
call the United states, I wanna see how everybody is doing too... he
called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he said: Well, devil how much
do I owe you????
The devil goes: ten million dollars.....
Ten million dollars!!!!!! He made him a cheque and went to sit back on his
chair.....
Saddam Hussen was extremely jealous too...he starts screaming and
screaming... "I wanna call Iraq! I want to see how everybody is doing
there too, I want to talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to
everybody ..."
He called Iraq and he talked for about twenty hours, he was talking and
talking and talking....
Then he said: well, devil, how much do I owe you????
The devil goes: one dollar.....only one dollar!!!!!
Saddam says... ONLY ONE DOLLAR??????
The devil says: well, from hell to hell it's local!
good one jamella 😃 😃 😃
don't ask 😃
--------------------------
Tales From The Shire
--------------------------
Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"
In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn''t do it."
The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"
"No. I couldnt get on the bed!"
One Side of a Phone Call between James Bond and a Former Sexual Partner
-----------------------
Hallo? Is this Giganta? Giganta Loins?
Oh, grand! It''s Bond.
James Bond? O07?
Shaken not stirred? Tuxedo? The trunk-sized jet pack? We had a run in with an Austrian terrorist with the overdeveloped reptilian brain and a predilection for man-eating octopi launching bazookas?
Well, contacting you took quite a bit of doing actually. You see, first I tried Giganta Loins. I must have looked in every phone directory that MI-6 could hack into. Then I figured out that Giganta might be a code name. I mean, who has the name Giganta Loins. Rather silly, when you think about it?
Yes, yes I suppose you do like it. Anyway, I recalled that I kept one of your garments � your knickers actually. And there it was. Honey Rider is a much prettier and commonplace name. You should use that.
Ah, yes. The, uh... point. Well, it seems that... well, there''s no delicate way to put this. I have a rather nasty case of syphilis. And, um, I''m calling all my sexual partners to let them know that they should go get tested.
Uh-huh. Right. I know it was ten years ago. But the syphilis is rather unusual.
Well, it has gonorrhea.
Yes, my syphilis has gonorrhea.
And the gonorrhea has lice. And the lice have some undiscovered disease that''s kind of between hemorrhagic fever and the mumps. It�s a virulent mutant strand developed by Dr. No-Means-Yes during mission: "The Russian Spy Who Loved To Thunderball Me.�
Yes, I know I said I had a condom. But you see all the condoms I had were made by Q, and apparently, the condoms weren�t meant to be condoms -- they were designed to be used as a pocket parachute. Good man. If you need to have your stapler work as a gun, he''s your boy. Anyway, you didn�t notice because while we were passionately embraced, your tongue accidentally trigged my knockout gas tooth and you, um, drifted off to sleep. But trust me, you enjoyed yourself. They all do.
Anyway, with all the rather bizarre ailments my, um, bizarre ailments have, the doctors have advised me to contact everyone in my sexual history about my condition. No small feat, I assure you. If you saw the list, you''d think I''d been having sex with my fellow spies for 50 years!
Well, this is what the doctors suggest. Right now, I am in a remote island facility. Actually there''s no facility. Just an island. And me. But they''re building one as soon as they can find enough hazmat suits. Anyway, a helicopter is going to pick you up and bring you to the island where we can be treated in isolation.
Chin up! Look at it this way: it''ll give us a chance to get caught up. And maybe once some of the redness goes down, along with some of the greenness and the larvae, we can do some REAL reminiscing.
"Oh, James." What''s that supposed to mean?
better for you to check the attachment! 8)
😉
Cuuute 😃
and also this...
the b guy 😃
hahaha! nice pics!
check it out
and for my 100th post
Bush got a coded message from Saddam.
It read: 370HSSV-0773H
Bush was stumped and sent for the CIA.
The CIA was stumped too, so it went to the NSA.
The NSA couldn't solve it either, so they asked Bill Clinton.
He suggested turning it upside down . 8)
😉
😃 😃 😃 😃
i'm going to die one day becous of you jamella
😃 😃 😃 😃
some meaningful office notes...
as well as this...
and this guys...
and this...
and here's another one...
as well as this...