and here's another...
Want Fun? Read a JOKE :)
also this...
and...
jamella you are hillariuse hehehehehehehahahahahhahahahah(tears)
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😃 :cry: 😃 :cry: 😃 :cry: 😃 :cry: 😃 :cry: 😃 :cry: 😃 :cry:
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HAHAHA! Funny... especially the boss thing!!!
looks like jamella is had a good day at work 😃
well, how i wish you're right! for several weeks now, i've been working 12hrs a day, with no day off! im sweating blood already! sometimes im walking without realizing that i've fallen asleep! just imagine that! :-?
A married couple went to the hospital together to have their
baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had
invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the
mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were
willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of
it.
The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining
that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father
had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the
husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump
it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain
transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor
checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed
at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for
50 percent.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was
obviously helping out is wife considerably, he encouraged the
doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a
healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were
ecstatic.
When they got home, they found the mailman was dead on their
porch.
😉
here's something for a stressed person...
how about this...
this also...
[quote="jamella"]well, how i wish you're right! for several weeks now, i've been working 12hrs a day, with no day off! im sweating blood already! sometimes im walking without realizing that i've fallen asleep! just imagine that! :-?[/quote]
at lest it's better than giveing your boss a ride home (with his work on you head ) 😞
you guys should have a vacation! Too much stress can make you
crazy! 😃 hehehe!
LOL!! nice one jamella 😃 😃
you guys should have a vacation! Too much stress can make you
crazy! hehehe!
can't get one (my BOSS=MY FATHER 😞 )
ok time for a JOKE 😃 😃 😃
Ancient Chinese Torture
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
Lost with Translation
The American Dairy Association was so successful with its "Got Milk?" campaign, that it was decided to extend the ads to Mexico. Unfortunately, the Spanish translation was "Are you lactating?"
Electrolux, a Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer, used this ad in the U.S.: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."
Colgate introduced a toothpaste called "Cue" in France, but it turned out to be the same name as a well-known porno magazine.
When Braniff translated a slogan touting its upholstery, "Fly in leather," it came out in Spanish as "Fly naked."
Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."
Chicken magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken," sounds much more interesting in Spanish: "It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."
Bacardi concocted a fruity drink with the name "Pavian" to suggest French chic...but "pavian" means "baboon" in German.
A hair products company, Clairol, introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that mist is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the manure stick.
When Kentucky Fried Chicken entered the Chinese market, to their horror they discovered that their slogan "finger lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off"
When Vicks first introduce its cough drops on the German market, they were chagrined to learn that the German pronunciation of "v" is f - which in German is the guttural equivalent of "sexual penetration."
Parker Pens translated the slogan for its ink, "Avoid Embarrassment - Use Quink" into Spanish as "Evite Embarazos - Use Quink"...which also means, "Avoid Pregnancy - Use Quink."
When Pepsi started marketing its products in China a few years back, they translated their slogan, "Pepsi Brings You Back to Life" pretty literally. The slogan in Chinese really meant, "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back from the Grave."
In Italy, a campaign for "Schweppes Tonic Water" translated the name into the much less thirst quenching "Schweppes Toilet Water."
Chinese translation proved difficult for Coke, which took two tries to get it right. They first tried Ke-kou-ke-la because when pronounced it sounded roughly like Coca-Cola. It wasn't until after thousands of signs had been printed that they discovered that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax," depending on the dialect. Second time around things worked out much better. After researching 40,000 Chinese characters, Coke came up with "ko-kou-ko-le" which translates roughly to the much more appropriate "happiness in the mouth."
Not to be outdone, Puffs tissues tried later to introduce its product, only to learn that "Puff" in German is a colloquial term for a whorehouse. The English weren't too fond of the name either, as it's a highly derogatory term for a non-heterosexual.
The Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish speaking countries. "No va" means "it doesn't go" in Spanish.
Ford introduced the Pinto in Brazil. After watching sales go nowhere, the company learned that "Pinto" is Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals." Ford pried the nameplates off all of the cars and substituted them with "Corcel" which means horse.
When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as here in the USA - with the cute baby on the label. Later they found out that in Africa companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside since most people can't read.
In the French part of Canada, Hunt-Wesson introduced its "Big John" products as "Gros Jos." It later found out that the phrase is slang for "big breasts."
Corn Hole
A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the St. Patrick's Day holiday. He was getting bored with just sitting at the truck stop cafe, so he decided to go for a few beers. After about the 4th one, he had to use the bathroom badly. He went into the bathroom, and he was peeing, lhe ooked into the next stall and noticed a leprechaun whose penis was HUGE!
"Let me ask you something...how come short guys have bigger peckers than tall guys?"
In his heavy Irish accent, the leprechaun looked up and said, "I don't know laddy, i'm a leprechaun".
With that, the trucker reached out and grabbed him and said, "Well guess what? I caught ya!"
"Aye lad, that ya did, but your wishes won't come true until tomorrow morning".
The trucker was confused by this, "Why not? You're a leprechaun, I caught ya, so you are supposed to grant me 3 wishes."
"Well", began the leprechaun, "you don't know anything about us leprechauns. We get a day of the year off and it happens to be St. Patrick's Day." Well, the trucker understanding this made his 3 wishes. He wanted to own his trucking company, he wanted every woman he saw to desire his body and he wanted 10 million dollars in the bank, tax free. The leprechaun said it would be done in the morning. On his way out of the restroom, the leprechaun says, "Lad, would you like to have your wishes come true tonight?"
"Well yeah, but what's the catch?", came the reply. "Well, you gotta let a leprechaun corn-hole ya." The trucker, at first protested, but then the leprechaun reminded him of all that he would be gaining in few precious moments. Thinking about the money, the company becoming his and ALL those women, he agreed but told the leprechaun not to tell anyone. When it was all over, the leprechaun was getting ready to leave, turned to the trucker and said, "Laddy, can I ask ya a question?"
"Sure", says the trucker.
"How old are ya now?"
"I'm 40 years old" says the trucker.
With that, the leprechaun says, "You mean to tell me that you're 40 years old and still believe in leprechauns?"
amazin jokes fox hound but careful dont burn yourself
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😃 😃 😃
Choosing a Wife
There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you, because I love you so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money. He finally decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.
So one day the Pope lands in New York, and gets into one limo by himself. He tells his retinue that he wants some time alone to think, so they pile in to the other stretch cars and leave him alone with his driver.
They're not five minutes out of the airport when the driver of the pope's limo hears a tap and the dividing glass. He rolls it down, and the pope sticks his head in.
"Lose the retinue."
"Holy Father? I'll get fired for that."
The Pope is insistant. "Lose the retinue."
How do you say no to the Pope? With a few quick turns, the limo driver separates the Pontiff's car from the motercade. Within seconds the Pope has stuck his head back through the window.
"Hey, why don' you-a let me drive?"
The driver is aghast. "Your Holiness, this is New York."
"I know I know, but I wanna drive. Don' you wanna ride in the back? You should be so pampered. Last shall be first, an' all that. Lemme drive."
How do you say no to the pope? The driver pulls over, and he trades places with the Holy Father. The pontiff gets behind the wheel, pulls out with a jerk, and starts driving. He's thrilled, but, you know, he hasn't driven in several years, and he's really bad. And this is New York.
He goes the wrong way on one-way streets. He's not used to the limo, and he clips parked cars on turns. He turns across lanes of traffic. He generally makes a mess of things. Eventually he gets pulled over by a classic Irish motorcycle cop.
The Pope is really nervous. He doesn't have a license, and, y'know, New York cops have a reputation. He sits there gripping the wheel as the cop comes up to the window.
"All right..." the cop starts to say, then he sees who it is, and freezes. "Um, I'll be right back."
The cop gets on the radio and calls back to his precinct. "Sergeant, I've just pulled over somebody really important."
"So. What'd he do?"
"Oh, sir, he's driving a limo the wrong way on one-way streets, clipping parked cars on turns, turnin' across lanes of traffic. Oh, it's a mess."
"So give him a ticket."
"But he's really important."
"Does he have Diplomatic tags?"
"Uh, no sir."
"Then give him a ticket."
"But he's really, really important."
"This is New York. No one's that important."
"Oh but he is, sir."
"Well, WHO IS IT?"
"I don't know, sir, but the Pope's drivin' his car."
loool nice on fox hound
by the way the name fits u better that all the others
thank you my frind
but the fox in my avatar wants to take a vacation
that's why i'v been chang him (with the name all the time)
[quote="cooler43"]loool nice on fox hound
by the way the name fits u better that all the others[/quote]
I with him also my friend 😊
ok the FOX is here to stay my frinds
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FOX JOKEs
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Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap?
She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox : "What are you working on?"
Rabbit : "My thesis."
Fox : "Hmm. What is it about?"
Rabbit : "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox : "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!"
Rabbit : "Come with me and I'll show you!"
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes,gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf : " What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit : " I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf : " You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit : " No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit : " I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear : "Well that's absurd!
Rabbit : "Come into my home and I'll show you"
As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.
Moral:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS. WHAT MATTERS IS WHO YOU HAVE FOR A SUPERVISOR.
In the context of the working world:-
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS SUPPORT YOU.
nice one! i like it! 8)
😉
thanks (i think you really liked the boss thing) am i right 😃
where are you SpecialBoy i'm all alone in here i need backup 😃
A guy wakes up in the morning. He has a massive hangover and can't remember anything he did last night.
He picks up his robe from the floor and puts it on. He notices there's something in one of the pockets and it turns out to be a bra.
He thinks, "Bloody hell what happened last night??"
He walks towards the bathroom and finds a pair of panties in the other pocket of his robe. Again he thinks, "What happened last night? Who was I with? Must have been a wild party."
He opens the bathroom door, walks in and has a look in the mirror. He notices a little string hanging out of his mouth and his only thought is, "If there's a god, please let this be a teabag.".
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i know it's a bad joke i just want somone other than me to start posting jokes 😃